Burning Kids Out Through Parental Aspirations

There are two subjects I take very seriously: education and kids. As I read The Paradox of Choice (see my review), the following piece jumped out at me:

We might all agree that everyone would be better off if there were less positional competition. It’s stressful, and it distorts people’s lives. Parents wanting only the best for their child encourage her to study hard so she can get into a good college. But everyone is doing that. So the parents push harder. But so does everybody else. So they send their child to after-school enrichment programs and educational summer camps. And so does everyone else. So now they borrow money to switch to private school. Again, others follow. So they nag at their youngster to become a great musician or athlete or something that will make her distinctive. They hire tutors and trainers. But, of course, so does everyone else, or at least everyone who has not gone broke trying to keep up.

The poor child, meanwhile, has been so tortured by parental aspirations for her that she loses interest in all the things they have forced her to do for the sake of her future.

It’s beyond dispute that American schools trail behind those in many other developed countries. The interesting fact is that elementary school kids test higher, but by the time they graduate from high school they test lower, which is what is reflected in the statistic.

I think Barry Schwarz’ observation about kids getting burned out is right on the money.

The american school system also has a lot to do with it. The focus on "best of class" or similar scoring relative to everyone else at the school forces the competitive aspect down on the education. Even the grading scales are doing this (ie. A = top 10%), instead of using absolute scales throughout the country. Many colleges also require that you are at the top XX% of class to get in, again without looking at an absolute scale.
Thank God I grew up in a country where such things are not a problem, and education are free, so I don't have to rely on scholarships. I live in the US now and see friends and parents struggling with these issue.

If you haven't already read John Taylor Gatto's "Underground History of American Education", it's worth checking out at your local library.

Here's a taste of his writing, an essay titled "Against School" that appeared in Harper's Magazine in 2003:

http://www.spinninglobe.net/againstschool.htm

Personally, I don't push my kids anywhere :-). Ok, they are kindergarden level. I let them play rather to push them to some additional learning (which some parents do over here, too).